Dear Amelia:

I don't really know how to tell you this, but You're a pervert. I think I realized it When we skinny dipped Outside of Chicago and I saw you Sit on My John F. Kennedy-statue. I'm sure you're High enough to understand That Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning Your ring to you, but I'll keep Your photo as a memory. You should also know that I Am better off without The apartment building.

Go burn,
-Amber-

I came back and did it another time:

Dear Amelia:

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike you. I think I realized it When we skinny dipped Outside of Chicago and I saw you Carve your initials into My mustard soufflé. I'm sure you're Frostbitten enough to understand That I did a sex-change. I'm returning Your ring to you, but I'll keepYour photo as a memory. You should also know that I Am better off without Eggplant-fetishism .

Go burn,
-Amber-

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I tag anyone who wants to do this.